Rebuilding Trust
by purplecrown14
Summary: epilogue to Train Ride, but can be read alone i think. i'm pretty sure its just friendship, but i might be wrong warning: mild cursing


**A/N: this is the epilogue for my Train story. It's two years after the eighth years graduated and Draco and Harry had a fight. Hope you enjoy it.**

The phone was ringing; Harry just stared at it. He was sitting alone, knees to his chest, on the comfy two-people couch that Draco had bought a few months ago. His eyes had sunken back into his face and his cheekbones were more pronounced than ever. He hadn't changed his clothes in days and they were dirty, smeared with tears and rips where his fingers had pulled in frustration and distress. His hair was a mess, it was all over the place and greasy with lack of wash. His hands shook as he held his legs. They were white with tension.

He wasn't going to pick up the phone. It had been ringing off the hook for about three hours. He just stared at it. He knew who was calling but he didn't want to answer. Harry was worried that if he picked up the phone he would say something that he would later regret. He did not want to seem weak either. If the caller wanted to talk to him, he would have to come over and talk to Harry face to face, or not at all. After all, it wasn't _Harry's_ fault that everything had happened.

But he knew it was. He knew it was his fault. He knew that he was the reason that the phone wouldn't stop ringing or that he hadn't showered in days. He caused Draco to leave. And Harry couldn't talk to him because of it. He felt so bad, after all Draco had done for him and now Harry was being an idiot and selfish. But he just would not pick up the phone.

He watched it as it vibrated, skidding slightly on the table it was sitting on. It burned into his eyes, taunting him, chanting "Coward" at him with every sound.

"Coward, coward, coward… Coward, coward, coward..." Then it picked up the message and he could hear Draco's distant voice come through the tiny microphone, warping it, but cutting straight to Harry's heart anyway.

"Harry, please answer. I know you know that it's me. Please. I'm so unbelievably sorry. I shouldn't have said those things. I didn't mean them. Please, Harry, I'm sorry. I love you." And the line died. The phone stopped buzzing and Harry kept staring. He waited for the ringing to start again, but this time it did not.

He clutching his knees closer, pressing his faced into them and sobbing. The sounds racked through him and filled the air. The dark room came alive with the terrible sounds and the couch moved so that he was more comfortable. The furniture didn't know what to do and stayed silent. A blanket flew from the other room and wrapped itself around Harry and a pot of water started warming to make tea. The knifes cut the cheese cake that was still in the fridge and a few minutes later, the dishes and cups were flying towards the shaking man.

He sat, waiting. Waiting for anything. Another call, a door bell, the floo, an owl, anything. But everything was just as it was.

And the next day.

And the day after that.

And a week later, Harry was still sitting on the couch, in his old dirty clothes with a blanket around him and the kitchen replenishing his meals every few hours.

Then a month

And another one.

When he was younger, he had forgotten how to cry from so much abuse and self hate, but now he couldn't stop. Every sound the house made brought burning tears to his eyes and the blanket hugged him closer and the tissue box wiped them away. He still ate because he knew if he stopped, if Draco ever came back, he would be furious. Not that Draco was ever coming back. Harry had been so horrible to him. Why should he come back? It was just like everybody else. They all abandoned him, except for Draco, but now Harry was alone, completely. He had no family, no friends, now he had no roommate/someone who actually cared for him.

But then about seven months after Draco ran out of the door, tears pouring out of his eyes, something changed. Harry got an owl.

When it flew through the broken window in the dinning room and into the living room in which Harry was still on the couch, Harry did nothing more than stare at it. That is, of course, until the owl started hooting and screeching at him. The kitchen brought the loud animal a bowl of fresh fruit, meat from somewhere Harry didn't want to know and some pumpkin juice. The owl ate the generous meal and dropped the letter before swooping out of the house.

Nervously, Harry picked up the letter. It was light and small and the only inscription on the front of it said 'Harry Potter, BWLaDaLA, DoV' (Boy-Who-Lived-and-Died-and-Lived-Again, Defeater of Voldemort) The handwriting was unfamiliar to Harry, but he as he opened it, a wave of relaxation spread through him, until he actually read the note and his insides turned to ice.

'To Mr. Harry Potter,

You may not remember me, but I am Nymphadora's mother. I am currently watching over my grandson, Teddy, who is also your godson. It has been about two years since the war and he is a growing boy and though he does not know you, I assure you he would be devastated later in life if he found out about you and you never went to see him. So, Harry, I am requesting that you join us for tea on Wednesday afternoon so that you can meet him. He is a lovely boy, I've sure you will love him.

Please, if not for yourself, then for him.

All the best,

Andromeda Tonks'

Harry sat stunned. How could he have forgotten Teddy? He had been so wrapped up in himself and Draco that he had forgotten all about his responsibilities. He was such an idiot. Harry yelled for the desk to send him a quill and parchment. As quickly as he could, Harry jotted down a note telling Andromeda that he would love to see them and was terribly sorry for everything. He sent it through the floo, seeing as he had no owl and then waited until Tuesday night before finally getting up from his couch.

His muscles ached as he stretched and were unused to the feeling of standing up, let alone walking around. So he stood there swaying until his head wasn't so dizzy and his feet were flat and confident. He slowly walked around the couch, fighting the waves of nausea and unease until he was sure he was ready to try the stairs.

After two hours, Harry finally made it to the shower. He was absolutely disgusting and smelly. He stood in the shower for hours, letting the water run over his body and the soap, shampoo and conditioner do their magic while he scrubbed away. When he was refreshed and new and shiny with cleanliness, a towel flew to him. He shaved in the mirror, watching the clouds of black hair fall from his face. Then he looked in the mirror. He was skinny as ever and his muscles were deflated, but Harry knew he could get back in shape.

He set up a routine. Push ups, sit ups, lifting weights, running up and down the stairs. It was going to take a while, but he wanted to be perfect, even if nobody would care. The next morning, Harry was all over the place. He was eating while putting his socks on, brushing his teeth while shaving. He whistled as he pulled on a pair of fashionably ragged jeans and a tight green shirt. He proceeded to get his dragon skin boots and his one earring. He skipped over the eyeliner however, but didn't really think about it until he walked out the door.

The second the cool air hit him, he felt free and alive. He stood in the 11 o'clock air with his face to the sky and allowed the breeze to push around him. He turned around, laughing and opened his eyes to a lovely view of flowers and grass and three children playing together in the distance. Harry smiled and then twisted, apparating for the first time since he learned how.

Since he had an hour to kill, Harry decided he wanted to go to Hogwarts. He met with McGonagall who was now the Headmistress of the school. They talked briefly about the weather before Harry begged her to tell him about the teachers and his ex-best friends. Neville became the Herbology teacher and married Luna. Ron and Hermione married, which was not surprising at all and they were both working in the ministry. Ginny married a Quidditch player whose name the old professor had forgotten. She didn't remember anything else other than Seamus and Dean getting together at the end of his eighth year.

Harry wished that they had cared about him so that he could have known these things, but he said nothing and just smiled and nodded before realizing the time and bidding her a lovely afternoon and promising to return sometime.

Harry swallowed and shook himself mentally before knocking on Andromeda's door, but the second he did, he was pulled into a bear hug from the women and smiled into her hair. She pulled back to inspect him, informing him that he was far too skinny, but she would feed him. Andromeda dragged him inside the house and he fell to his knees infront of the two-year-old child when the he crawled up to him and tugged on his leg. The boy was beautiful and had green hair, the same shade as Harry's eyes, which were now filling with tears. Harry pulled Teddy to him and hugged him close, murmuring apologies and loving words into the baby's ear.

"Who.. are you?" The small boy asked happily, his mouth moved a little weirdly, like he was trying to get the words out just right and Harry realized Teddy was learning how to talk.

"I'm Harry. I'm your godfather. I supposed to take care of you, baby."

"But… Drom takes care… of me!" Teddy had the most adorable confused face Harry had ever seen and he hugged him again.

"Well, yeah, but I can take care of you too, yeah?" Teddy nodded against his chest and Harry looked up to see Andromeda watching them with a small smile on her lips.

"Harry, there's someone here to see you. I'll stay with Teddy, why don't you go into the kitchen. He's waiting." Harry sent her a questioning glance but promptly exited the room and found his way to the kitchen. The moment he walked in to the room and laid eyes on the man inside, he froze. Tears jumped to his eyes again, but he took a deep breath and composed himself before facing the beautiful blond man who was sitting facing away from him.

"Draco…?" The sitting man turned and he gasped as he looked at Harry.

"What! Harry- what the fuck are you- oh my God! Harry!" He jumped out of the chair and thrust himself at Harry before realizing what he had done and stepped back quickly as possible. "I'm… I'm so sorry."

Harry stared at him for what seemed like hours, his eyes tracing over Draco's face, hair, clothing. Looking was enough, he wanted to touch him.

"No, I'm sorry, Draco. I… I should have answered or owled or flooed, but I fucking didn't. I'm an idiot." Harry stumbled forward and Draco caught him and tilted his face up. Harry shook his head and looked Draco straight in his silvery grey eyes. "I'm so sorry about all those months ago. I was so selfish, and terrible, and a disgusting person. I didn't understand what I had, but when you left, everything just crashed down. I love you; I love you so much. I haven't stopped thinking about you since that night. I'm so sorry. I understand if you don't ever want to see or talk to me ever again. Even if… even if you hate me."

Draco looked down at the beautiful Avada Kedavera eyes and sighed. "Harry… I think I need some space. For now… can I call you in a few days?" Harry swallowed and nodded before extracting himself from Draco and walking out of the tiny kitchen. Teddy and Andromeda were playing with muggle legos and Harry sat down with them, but he wasn't really paying attention, the only thing he could think about was Draco. It was night time and Andromeda pulled him aside while Teddy got in his pajamas which he insisted on doing himself with broken English.

"Harry, I think you should come back tomorrow, to get to know Teddy more and maybe Draco will come out of his room for once to talk to you again." He agreed and gave Teddy a good night hug before stepping into the floo and going home.

He told the house to clean up and make everything new and polished. He stood in the middle of it all watching his magic washing through the rooms. When all the lights were on and everything was gleaming, Harry threw himself on his long neglected bed and fell into a deep, dreamless sleep.

Over the next week, Harry spent his days with Andromeda and Teddy. He occasionally caught sight of Draco moving through the halls, but they never talked. And then Andromeda decided Harry needed his old friends. It was Saturday (11 days since Harry had talked to Draco) and when he stepped out of the fireplace, he almost stepped back in, but Andromeda pulled him out of it. Ron and Hermione was standing in front of him. Hermione had tears streaming down her cheeks and Ron looked like he was holding back his own.

The stood in silence, staring at each other, no one moved, but then Harry twisted on the spot and apparated to his house. He felt something grab his arm before he did and when he got to the house, he turned to face to person who had side-along apparated with him. Ron Weasley let go of his arm and stepped back.

"Harry…" But Harry just stared at him and ran up the stairs and into his bedroom. Ron followed him and sat on the bed. Harry curled in a corner. "Harry…please. I'm so sorry. Mate, I miss you. It's been two years. What happened? What went wrong? Please tell me. Because I want it to stop. You're my best friend since 1st year. I don't want to loose you, especially when we just found you again."

"Found…me?"

"You kinda disappeared with Malfoy. And then I guess something happened with you two, because he came to find us. He was sobbing and cold and we took him in. He never told us what happened, but we knew he was close to you and we wanted to find you. The three of us have kept in contact for the past seven months, hoping you'd try to find him. Mate, we were so worried. He told us how fragile you were. How upset you were. How could I not have noticed how you were eighth year? Oh god Harry, I'm so sorry." Ron gave up trying to hold back tears and one escaped. Harry stood up and crossed the room and sat opposite of Ron.

"Ron." Harry's words got stuck in his throat and he reached forward to Ron. They ended up hugging each other tightly. "Oh, Ron, I'm sorry too. I should have talked to you guys. It seemed like you guys didn't want me around. You had Hermione and I was the third wheel."

Ron shook his head and pulled back, "Harry, you're my best mate, if there was a problem, any problem, you should've told me." Harry nodded and lifted his hands to wipe away his tears, but Ron gave him another bone crushing hug.

"I missed you so much." Harry whispered.

Harry and Ron chatted for a little while before Ron got jumpy and wanted Harry to talk to Hermione. Harry was hesitant, but allowed Ron to drag him to the fireplace and floo them back to Andromeda's house. Hermione and Andromeda were playing with Teddy. Draco was in the kitchen grabbing a glass of water, but then fled when he heard the floo.

Hermione stood up shakily and looked at Harry like she was afraid he was going to yell at her. He couldn't say a thing so he just walked over to her and pulled her into his arms. She sobbed into his shoulder and held him closer.

"Harry, I'm so, so, so, so, so, so sorry. Oh god, Harry…"

'Sh… Hermione, it's ok. I'm sorry too." After a few minutes, Ron snaked his arms in between them and hugged both of them to him. They were all crying. Andromeda took Teddy into another room so they could have their moment and ran into Draco staring at the three former ex best friends. She tugged on his arm and dragged him with her. Draco and Andromeda kept Teddy busy while the Golden Trio reformed itself.

They could hear crying and laughter and Harry, Ron and Hermione's voices. Warmth spread over the home and make everyone feel better. At some point, Teddy started to nod off and Andromeda took him to bed. Draco stayed alone in the room they had been in.

Draco sat staring at the wall, thoughts and dreams flickering in his mind. Why had he told Harry to wait? He loved Harry, he should have taken him back right away, the second Harry told him that he loved him. But he didn't. He was such a bloody idiot. What would Harry think of him now? Draco let out a tiny sob and fell back on the floor. He spread his arms and legs out as far as possible and closed his eyes. He listened to himself breath in and out and the movements of the house and its inhabitants. He allowed the muffled talking wash over him and drifted with it.

Suddenly Draco felt something playing with his hands. He opened his eyes slowly and found himself looking straight into Harry's eyes.

"Ron and Hermione went home. She's pregnant and wanted to sleep. I'm going to go to their house tomorrow." Draco nodded and tried to smile. "Draco, thank you so much for everything you've done. I know I've been a terrible, selfish, prat, but I love you. We don't have to be together or anything. We can just be friends, but I want you in my life no matter what. I'm saying thank you, but I wish there were other words to express that feeling, because I'm so completely overly crazily thankful for you. If you want to, you can come stay with me in the flat you found for me, but if not, I'll visit you here or any place you go to. I swear I'd do anything for you. I'd find you if you got lost, hold you if you lost a lover. I'd hold your hand just because it's there and empty. I'd sing you to sleep if you were having nightmares. I need you so much; sometimes it hurts. Draco, I love you. I really, really do."


End file.
